the online journal of jordan e.

Survival of the Fittest
I've got a question for you all. Let's say you are in Fargo, you are lost, walking aimlessly around the ditches of Blilie's Trailer and Hitch Sales, and the weather is a dangerous -29 degrees like it is today. All you have with you is a green dabber from BigTop Bingo, a coupon for "buy one plate of gizzards get one free" at the local Fryin' Pan, and a pair of beige nylons. What would be your plan of action to survive the -55 degree windchill tonight?

posted by Jordan @ 3:25 em

Das Wochenende
Yesterday the professors in the German department hosted a progressive dinner despite the blizzard-like conditions. The stations went like so:
1. Herr Grollman's house. His wife, an authentic Deutschie, welcomed us in and steered us to a table with salad and bread. We proceeded to eat and watch their two completely bilingual daughters switch back and forth from perfect German to perfect English. I asked Herr Grollman how old they were and instantly felt ashamed when I found the youngest was just three and could most definitely beat me in a German game of Scrabble.
2. Herry Clark's house. We walked in and instantly met the family iguana, Spike, who roosts in the living room. Back to the family room we were ushered, past the two cats and four children. Inside was a table with cheese fondue and french bread, two couches covered in various animals hairs and a gigantic wire cage with four dogs. We all wrestled to sit on the hairless folding chair and then lifted our plates of fondue high when the dogs were released: two gigantic terriers, a smaller one with a blind eye and a husky.
3. Frau Burchill's home. She is the Germanic Martha Stewart. Upstairs she offered cheesecake and apple crisp on china. Fresh fruit, nuts and cider in the foyer. A s'more maker downstairs next to a tray of lemon-spritzed water. We enjoyed the food immensely and all had contests to see who could cough up the biggest Herr Clark house hairball.

Afterwards, since almost two feet of snow had been dumped on us, we put on long underwear and drove out to Fargo's only hill, which is ironically in front of the mental institute. Carlos from Mexico, Christiane from Germany and Seline from France had never experienced the joys of sliding down a slope on a piece of plastic before and were especially excited. Plus, Sarah was providing six authentic Finnish butt sleds (Rocko-Flakes) she had picked up last year in one of her Finland adventures.
Christiane and I went down first, braving the jump somebody had built at the bottom. She hit pretty hard, but Seline, who came next, hit even harder and had to be taken to the emergency room after just one run down the hill. Turns out she compacted a vertabrae and is suffering both the physical pain of the injury and also emotional as now she is nearly a half-inch shorter. Rumor has it she also limped out over the drifts today all the way to a pharmacy. Ah, c'est la vie.

posted by Jordan @ 9:08 em

For Seeing
I have three photos. One is a wall I took today at Concordia, one is of houses in Sweden and the last is butter shelves in the dairy section of a Swedish grocery store. Have a looky.

posted by Jordan @ 9:41 fm

Hier Bin Ich
I'm back from Waldsee, one of Concordia Language Villages' camps. Once upon a time, bigshots like Chelsea Clinton went to Waldsee, but this weekend there were only 80 ordinary booger-eating middle-schoolers and high schoolers from OshKosh, WI and Cambridge, MN.
And they didn't really eat boogers - at least this weekend they didn't. Instead, they ate plates of Spaetzle, Rhubarber Kuchen, Broetchen and Kartoffeln Auflauf and learned to sing and dance to German tunes as well as endure total immersion into the language, provided by us 11 counselors who spoke constant German over the weekend.
When I was a little tyke I collected Concordia Language Village catalogs dreaming of spending a couple of weeks at Skogfjorden (the Norwegian village) or Mori no Ike (the Japanese village), where every building in such camps were designed to look like they were straight from Oslo or Munich or Seville; the food was authentic; and the language could soak in. But alas, such opportunities costed almost $1,500 and the little savings budget I kept recorded in a pink diary never added up to more than $200.
So my miniscule fourth grade bank account never made me into a villager. I never learned to sing "Zuerst nach Vorne" and I didn't play Puppen-Theater in dem Gasthof. But now, eleven years later, I'm getting the language village experience from the other side as a Betreuerin (counselor) and without the financial advisings in my little pink diary. I have now discovered that Waldsee is as good as I imagined it to be back in 1990 and will be back as often as possible.

posted by Jordan @ 1:12 em

CLV
Off to Waldsee to be everyone's favorite German counselor, "Nadja."
Bis Montag!

posted by Jordan @ 1:11 em

Cross Boundaries
I ventured over to MSUM today to buy my art history book ($72.35!). It was a complete maze there and I felt that everyone knew there were no "dragon dollars" on my ID and that once I was the Cobber mascot at a basket ball game (though I never went this far with the whole corn thing). Still, I am excited to experience classroom life at MSUM, which begins tomorrow at 10:30 in room CA 0165.

posted by Jordan @ 7:20 em

Back at It
The new semester is well on its way now. I'm still skidding across sidewalks frosted in ice, it still gets dark around 5:00 and until recently, my car still didn't have heat.
But some things have changed. I have a new roommate, Christiane, for instance. She is a student from Jena, where I studied last year and has been great to live with so far. She came just at a time when I was starting to miss the way Germans pronounce the letter 'v' like the letter 'w.' That nostalgic longing is incidentally fulfilled through Christiane when she talks about home and her 'willage' outside of Muehlhausen.
I have also a whole new string of classes, which are all of the fluffiest variety. I've got a poetry seminar, digital photography, art history, 2-D art and social dancing. I won't be cracking the books this semester. I'll be cracking the dance floor with my wicked, heel-stomping moves.
Kara is also gone now. She packed up her Easy Mac, John Mayer remnants and Spinal Tap video for the illustrious campus of University of Minnesota - Twin Cities. My favorite cousin/best pal has gone and left me to deal with the floodplains alone.
On a brighter note, today in poetry our professor was reading Sharon Olds' poem, "The Releasing" aloud to us. When he came to the bit that says, "...as if crunching a soft-shell, or stepping on a toothed leaf in thin ice..." he read the word "toothed" as "toot-head."
Toot-head has been Friday's redemption.

posted by Jordan @ 3:55 em

Taking the cold snap in stride.

posted by Jordan @ 8:29 fm

Weekend Update
Christmas break is a sweet, sweet homework-less time. Here's a brief summary of mine so far:
Thursday (18th): Came home, backed nine dozen cookies for my mom, the slave driver of the kitchen.
Friday (19th): Feverishly cleaned the house for my mom, the whip master of the cleaning agents. Hosted church Christmas party where I appeared to say hellos, take food and returned to the basement.
Saturday (20th): Went Christmas shopping with my mom.
Sunday (21st): Went to church and then went to the cabin where we sledded and had a campfire. It all felt very festive until Jonah slid into an unsuspecting stump; good times still ensued.
Monday (22nd): Went to the third Lord of the Rings with Brett. I thought the movie was pretty good, but was disappointed at the audience who laughed all too easily at the cheesy jokes. I think Brett liked it, too, but at one point I audibly heard him say "poop."
Tuesday (23rd): Kelly and I went cross-country skiing on Boulder Lake. As we scooted our way to the warming shack, we ran into Reid Amborn who happens to be groomer extraordinare of the trails. We all talked and Kelly and I shimmied our way back to the car. Later I went out to eat with my parents and then to my brother, Jonah's basketball game. I learned that such competition causes him to flare his nostrils. I tried catching the crazed look with my camera.
Wednesday (24th): Kelly came over to look at old Russia pictures and talk about our plans for life. While I am tentatively planning on going overseas for ministry, Kelly will probably move to Montana and become one with the the mountains. Before then, she is heading off to New Zealand for three weeks this January. I wish I could backpack with her, but I will live her adventure vicariously and eat kiwi fruit for a month straight.
I also made pita break and baklava. We had a sort of Middle Eastern/Mediterranean Christmas Eve meal, modeled after the types of food Jesus would have eaten. My mom roasted some lamb, made a yoghurt dressing, couscous and a salad with feta, kalmata olives and other delish stuff. It was wonderful.
Afterwards, we went to church, where the annual theme is "Candles, Carols and Cappucino." Surrounded by carolers at the front door, Barnabus was roasting chestnuts, which incidentally taste like crap in a shell. The service was great and Michael, our pastor, gave a great message about the certainty of Jesus' divinity and our need for him.
Thursday (25th): We spent Christmas at my dad's side of the family in Pine City.
Friday (26th): Had Brett over for a mean, family card-playing session. Got a wonderful, surprise call from my friend Jessica who was studying last semester in London. Turns out that she secretly flew home a month early and surprised her family on Christmas Eve.
Saturday (27th): Felt like crap. Stayed at home with wee brother, Jakey, who also felt like crap.
Sunday (28th): Went to church and the cabin.
Monday (29th): Temporary amnesia has erased all memory of Monday, December 29, 2003.
Tuesday (30th): Served as Kelly's seeing-eye-friend for her eye appointment. The two of us met up with Lauren Alexander, went out for lunch and went to see Mona Lisa Smiles. Had the Bjorlin family over for supper - we made a vomitatious gingerbread house, ate some nummer food and played a violent tourney of Spoons.
Uncle Mark and Aunt Kathy arrived after the injurious Spoons.
Wednesday (31st): Hung out with Mark and Kathy and went to the doctor, as I still felt like crap. Doctor told me that, FYI, the pioneers made special masks to wear over tea kettles so they could steam their sinuses and still avoid third-degree burns.
Made almond biscotti, went out with family and relatives to Pizza Luce's and then to a shindig at our church. Decided that all the refreshing aspects of New Year's - all of the new starts and new hopes and resolutions - is a secular attempt at capturing the renewing powers of Christ. With that said, I resolved to eat less dessert.
Thursday (1st): Met up with Jennifer Zawislak, Mary Simensen and Jody Patullo; twas good to see them and catch up. Went home for a big dinner with more family and other relatives.
Friday (2nd): Hung out with Megan Blix and then with other high school buddies at Mary's house. Good times had by all.
Saturday (3rd): Painted a proverb in Swedish in the kitchen of our cabin: Bättre är ett torrt brödstycke med ro än ett hus fullt av högtidsmat med kiv. (Proverbs 17:1)
Sunday (4th): More swell churchy time. Made a big German meal of Kloesse, Rouladen and Rotkraut. Lecker.
Monday (5th): Back to the freezing floodplains of Margo's Forehead.
I hope you all enjoyed Christmas and your sweet, sweet breaks if you had/have them...

(Please excuse the late posting of this entry - my blog system is messed up.)

posted by Jordan @ 8:23 fm