the online journal of jordan e.

Thirteen Point One
This past weekend hosted Grandma's Marathon, all its festivities and the half marathon, which I ran. Being that I gave up training at six miles a month and a half ago due to an ouchie knee (yes, the actual medical terminology), I wasn't sure I would even be able to make it - especially with that menacing bus driver coming up from behind to whisk away the laggards. But, I made it. And here's the run down of the deal:
4:30am - Up and at 'em after four and a half hours of sleep filled with restless thoughts of oversleeping and that stupid, evil bus.
5:15am - At UMD to get on the shuttle bus that will take us to the start of the race, at Lakeview Castle. Very tired and quite crabby. As I begin to watch the people around me devouring Powerbars and bananas, I make a big realization: the five strawberries I ate upon waking up won't carry me over thirteen miles. I am an idiot. Rachel gives me half of a black banana and I audibly growl.
6:00am - Have nervous peeing syndrom and line up with the rest of the thousands before the rows of Biffies.
6:30am - It begins and we trot southward towards the harbor.
6:40-7:00am - Eighty year old woman in front of us makes a beeline for the woods. Are serenaded by a polkaing accordian, creepy clown jumping on a trampoline to Garth Brooks and various stereos playing nineties dance music. We kick it in with Chumbawamba.
7:30am - Hit the halfway point. Eighty year old woman is back in front of us after what was certainly a hurried bathroom break. Cannot believe the eighty year old woman is in front of us.
7:45am - Make the turn into town to find a jubilant crowd on London Road including Tiffany and Bevin. Bevin is wearing a sweatband and is trying to force Cocoa Puffs on us. Tiffany clicks glamour shots as we trot by.
8:00-8:30am - Inspired to go onward by the string quartet in front of Glensheen. Conquer Lemon Drop Hill. Are met by pregnant Nikki who runs alongside of us for a block. Are very impressed with Nikki and future son.
8:40am - Approach my family in front of Sir Benedict's. They cheer and then yell that other people I know are way ahead of me. I give them the fist.
8:45-9:00am - Last three miles are a killer. Pass bellydancers in front of Norshor Theater. Pass man with mullet wig. Want to be carried to a green meadow and given an enormous beanbag to snuggle into. Instead, tell Rachel we've got to get cooking and proceed to keep trucking to the finish line where I whip out some stored up juice. Pass an old man "Chuck" to finish in 2:41:21. Slow, but complete and sans rotten bus.
9:00-9:45am - Eat a banana, ice cream, fruit, a bagel, a beer and a clifbar. Suffer cramps like you know what and resolve not to finish the Leinenkugel's.
10:00-12:23pm - Become fully aware of how sore we are. Limp two miles back, while watching marathoners run by. Resort to borrowing a phone to find a ride out. Tiffany, our hero, finds us sprawled out on sidewalk covered in white granules of dried sweat and totes our sore behinds back.

posted by Jordan @ 2:12 em